13 December 2008

Communion wafers now polyunsaturated - and flavored

The Archdiocese of Boston has announced plans to switch a number of parishes from bland traditional communion wafers to a more contemporary wafer containing polyunsaturated fats plus flavoring.

"Don't let it be said that the Catholic Church isn't a forward-thinking ecclesiastical entity," said Archbishop Sean Patrick O'Malley. "Whether we're the first internationally-renowned religion to openly cover-up clergy sex abuse scandals or the first to make Mass taste better, we always have our congregations' best interests in mind."

CAP News reports that according to O'Malley, the first batch of new wafers will be made available in three flavors: chocolate, cinnamon, and Ritz. The plan is to taste test the varieties at some of the more tolerable parishes in the region, like throughout South Boston, and then expand the more successful kinds into other dioceses.

"Wow, Jesus never tasted so good," said 47-year-old Darren St. Clair, one of (more...)

(What is scarier is that the paulists seem to have fallen for this prank...)

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