To cut a long story short...

Saturday March 24, 2007
The Guardian

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Ernest Hemingway once said his best work was a story he wrote in just six words: 'For sale: baby shoes, never worn.' We challenged some contemporary authors to be equally economical

"Samaritans." "I'm listening." "Hello?" "Hel..." "Samaritans..."
Michel Faber

"It can't be. I'm a virgin."
Kate Atkinson

"Set sail, great storm, all lost."
John Banville

"Dream punctured. Build pyre. Curses... Adolf."
Beryl Bainbridge

"See that shadow? (It's not yours.)"
Jim Crace

"Defenestrated baby, methamphetamine, prison, rehab, relapse."
Jeffrey Eugenides

"Juicy offer. Must decline. Still paralysed."
Richard Ford

"Bob's last message: Bermuda Triangle, Baloney."
Elmore Leonard

"Dad called: DNA back: he isn't."
Helen Fielding

"Humorous book: critic died laughing. Sued."
Alexander McCall Smith

"Kiss me." "?" "Kiss me.." "?!!" "Oh, sorry."
Jon McGregor

"Mother's-milk. Ribena. Tetley's. Chibuku-Shake-Shake. Complan. Morphine."
Marina Lewycka

"Apple?" "No." "Taste!" "ADAM?" Oh God.
David Lodge

"Evil isn't necessarily unkind. Gran next."
DBC Pierre

"Megan's baby: John's surname, Jim's eyes."
Simon Armitage

"Purse found. "No notes," she said."
Andrew O'Hagan

"Served the pie, watched him die."
Maggie O'Farrell

"Thought love must fade: but no."
George Saunders

"He didn't. She did. Big mistake."
Al Kennedy

"They awaited sunrise. It never came."
AS Byatt

"In the end, everything simply began."
Ali Smith

"Stop me before I kill again."
Hari Kunzru

"Free to good home. Extraneous coffin."
Barbara Trapido

"I repented and turned to Christ."
Ian Sansom

"Hello?" "Cupcake." "Douglas?! I'm... married." [click]
Miranda July

"The pillow smelled like my brother."
Patrick Neate

"It was a dark, stormy... aaaaargggh!"
John Lanchester

"Armageddon imminent. Make list. Tick most."
Ian Rankin

"Catherine had treasonable sex. Heads rolled."
Helen Simpson

"The Earth? We ate it yesterday."
Yann Martel

"A&E IOU"
Toby Litt

"Funeral followed honeymoon. He was 90."
Graham Swift

"Womb. Bloom. Groom. Gloom. Rheum. Tomb."
Blake Morrison

"Pain, unutterable pain, stertorous exhalation. Death."
Will Self

"Mind what gap?" ... ... ...
Hilary Mantel